There is an unwritten law that one’s hands should be washed after a visit to the loo. This is basic hygiene, common sense and common courtesy - no argument , yet it is well known that a significant percentage of folk never take the trouble. But does this really matter?

I can almost hear the screams of disgust. But think about it:

After wiping, you pull up your trousers, right? Now if there was a little “slip”, a tiny speck of crap might find itself smeared almost invisibly on your shirt or trousers, unless you perfect the one-handed pants-up-and-tuck manoeuvre, and that’s unlikely. And after washing, you might rub your hand through it before touching your food, a doorknob or another person - yuch! The only way to avoid this is to shuffle with great indignity over to the basin, dragging your pants between your legs and across the bathroom floor, wash your hands and only then pull up trousers. Never gonna happen! Quite a dilemma.

Even if all this goes smoothly and un-besmirched and your handies are washed and dried, the last thing you’re going to touch is the toilet door handle. Which might also have a bit of brownish bum-booger on if the last customer didn’t wash, or inadvertently slipped up a little.

Bottom line (pun intended): into every life, a little shit must fall. Get used to it.